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Trip |
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Trip Brolly Dolly
Joined: 28 Feb 2006 Karma :
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Posted: 18:59 - 06 Mar 2006 Post subject: Help i need some advice.... |
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Guys help ive just found out that my GF is Bullemic. Ive had my suspitions for a while now but she came clean today, I really need some help/advice on how to help her.
Does anyone have any experiance with this? How to help her through it?
She has had it before and split her Osophegous (spelling?) and i dont want it to happen again.
She refuses to see a doctor and i dont know what to do
Any help or advice would be greatly apreciated.
What a great supject for a first post eh? |
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veeeffarr |
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veeeffarr Super Spammer
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Flip |
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Flip Super Spammer
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Trip |
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Trip Brolly Dolly
Joined: 28 Feb 2006 Karma :
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Kwaks |
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Kwaks I'm not a fast rider
Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Karma :
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Posted: 19:18 - 06 Mar 2006 Post subject: |
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Your gonnae have to convince her to seek help, but in the meantime you have to reassure her and support her. Not much experiance in this myself but I certainly would watch her very closely. Make sure she drinks plenty of fluids and talk to her in a non judgemental way. There is some websites which can give good advice,but PROOF READ them yourself first as equally there are websites which support this behaviour.
Tearing of the oesophagus is relatively common due to the continual retching. Longer term damage shows in the teeth rotting due to the stomach acids and of course damage to the vital organs.
Have you tried to make sure she keeps the food down for a minimum set period of time,gradually increasing this time on a daily basis. The longer she keeps it down the better.
Long term she needs specialist pyschiatric help with this problem.
Stick in there mate,she needs you |
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flat spot |
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flat spot World Chat Champion
Joined: 29 Aug 2003 Karma :
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Flip |
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Flip Super Spammer
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biker-dj |
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biker-dj Spanner Monkey
Joined: 10 Apr 2005 Karma :
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Posted: 19:47 - 06 Mar 2006 Post subject: |
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Toby R's advice is best - not the running away bit - but she's needs to realise and more importantly admit she has a problem, only then will she consider seeking advice, the best advice I can give is be strong for her and hope that she will admit her problem. Good luck mate I hope it all works out for you and her ____________________ Ride with the music! |
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Whosthedaddy |
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Whosthedaddy Super Spammer
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Posted: 19:54 - 06 Mar 2006 Post subject: |
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At the end of the day, there is nothing YOU can do, its all down to how much your GF wants to do for herself.
The problem has probably be going on since childhood, so a quick fix aint gonna be round the next corner
People with eating disorders that I have nursed, typically have some form of self harming trait or habit, they can be very persuasive to get what they want, ie to hide the continuing eating related problem.
How did you find out, did she tell you? didn't you realise something was wrong beforehand? ____________________ Current : MSX 125 Past : CBR 900RR Monkeybike : c50 LAC : ZXR750 H2 : FZR600 : ZX7R P3 : YW100 : TRX850: Trophy 900 T309 : GSXR 600 L0: Monkeybike : XJ6S Whosthedaddy |
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Katie |
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Katie Spanner Monkey
Joined: 17 Apr 2005 Karma :
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Posted: 20:07 - 06 Mar 2006 Post subject: |
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Jesus. Definitely stick with her, at the risk of sounding really cheesy, your love for her could be the thing that pulls her through. She is going to have to go to her GP at some point, or she will end up very ill. Both psychically and mentally.
Take small steps together, and see if you can work up to going to the doctor. Try asking her about why she feels bad about herself, and reassure her. Tell her how much you love her and how happy you are being with her. If when you try discussing why she feels the way she does and she completely closes up, don't push the subject. Give it time and try again. Trying to force answers out of her will only make the situation worse, no matter how scared you are for her. There are lots of confidential call centres she can get in contact with, if she feels she wants to talk to someone but isn't ready for a face to face discussion. All the best. ____________________ Never have a row with an Idiot, they drag you down to their level then beat you with experience. |
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Trip |
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Trip Brolly Dolly
Joined: 28 Feb 2006 Karma :
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killa |
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killa Won't Shut Up
Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 09:50 - 07 Mar 2006 Post subject: |
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No doctors, no pills, unless you want a girl who doesn’t resemble your missus currently with a brain made of mash potato.
I’m sure now you know about it, you’ll sort it out, and you know her best.
Ask her what she wants…. ____________________ Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history |
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yambabe |
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yambabe World Chat Champion
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 10:37 - 07 Mar 2006 Post subject: |
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killa wrote: | No doctors, no pills, unless you want a girl who doesn’t resemble your missus currently with a brain made of mash potato.
I’m sure now you know about it, you’ll sort it out, and you know her best.
Ask her what she wants…. |
If only it were that easy.
The first thing to remember is that the physical symptoms that are there to see are the result of the illness not the cause of it. Bulimia is a mental illness and needs to be treated as such.
This means she may need "pills", certainly in the short term. There is often an underlying trigger that sets people off with this particular illness, often involving abuse or a similar situation. The person feels like their intake of food is the only thing in their life that they have full control of. That's why she won't want to see anyone, because letting someone else attempt to cure her is a loss of her only control, and that's why this illness is so difficult to treat.
She must get professional help. No matter how much you love her she cannot get better until she has learned to love herself and it is unlikely that your support alone will be able to do this for her.
She's been very brave admitting she has a problem to you, and it sounds like she's a lucky girl to have you. However, you really can't allow her to transfer her obsession with food to an obsession with you and become totally dependant on you.
Get her to a doctor, go with her, keep supporting her, keep telling her she's a worthwhile and beautiful person.
If she truly refuses to get help, then unfortunately I agree with Toby. Leave.
Good luck. ____________________ Sod falling in love, I wanna fall in chocolate. |
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veeeffarr |
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veeeffarr Super Spammer
Joined: 22 Jul 2004 Karma :
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map Mr Calendar
Joined: 14 Jun 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 11:13 - 07 Mar 2006 Post subject: |
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As said above, first thing is to get her to realise she needs help.
By telling you about it she's already opened the door on this so pushing it open a bit more shouldn't be hard.
BabyYam's advice is spot on.
She needs to get to a GP where she can get a referral to an eating disorder unit. They do out (day) patients. They also do in-patients and if it's bad they can section (mental health act) patients to force them to be there and can force them to have feeding tubes. However, your GF doesn't sound that far gone yet.
If the GP can't do anything there may be other routes via mental health. The self harm is a good reason to look into these.
If she gets to an eating disorder unit then they will teach her how to cope. It is a mental illness but it can be managed. It's a bit like alcoholism. That also is something that is lifelong, has no definitive cure and must be lived with on a day to day basis. If you can't cope with that then I would advise that in your own best interests walk away. However, if you want to stay with said GF do a little research of your own. That way you'll know what to expect. You may need a support system of your own to help you cope.
The people will bulimia / anorexia normally have a lot of emotional baggage. It's not uncommon for them to have been abused.
FWIW the missus is a qualified mental nurse and works on an eating disorder unit. I have counselling qualifications. So I have picked up a little of what goes on.
HTH ____________________ ...and the whirlwind is in the thorn trees, it's hard for thee to kick against the pricks...
Gibbs, what did Duckie look like when he was younger? |
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byke95 |
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byke95 World Chat Champion
Joined: 25 Mar 2004 Karma :
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biker-dj |
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biker-dj Spanner Monkey
Joined: 10 Apr 2005 Karma :
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Posted: 11:28 - 07 Mar 2006 Post subject: |
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You say you think she has been dropping little hints for ages, that to me sounds like it was a cry for help, go with it slowly and gently and again, best of luck mate ____________________ Ride with the music! |
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ZRX61 |
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ZRX61 Victor Meldrew
Joined: 05 Nov 2003 Karma :
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Posted: 15:56 - 07 Mar 2006 Post subject: |
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She's going to have serious mental & physical health problems for the rest of her life. Ditch the crazy bitch. |
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killa |
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killa Won't Shut Up
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colin1 Captain Safety
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Irezumi aka Reuben |
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Irezumi aka Reuben Carrot Top
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colin1 |
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colin1 Captain Safety
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Posted: 02:51 - 08 Mar 2006 Post subject: |
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its not that bad yet
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulimia
at the bottom of this page are some links to potentially useful organisations ____________________ colin1 is officially faster than god |
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killa Won't Shut Up
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colin1 Captain Safety
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 18 years, 98 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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